I just walked in…

Well. This is the beginning of the end, or maybe the end of a beginning. Hell, maybe it’s just a beginning. Or an end. Either way, it’s bound to be a fun ride. (And seriously, does beginning have that many ‘n’s?)

4 sentences in and my ADD kicks in. I think I just have an overactive brain. Its never really been a problem except that sometimes I can’t finish stories in one sitting, because I start dancing to whatever music is on, or just interweave random lyrics into my stories which leads to more dancing, or sometimes I just see a squirrel, a soccer match or a pretty female. All those can be very distracting to man of exquisite tastes such as myself. Actually, the problem is that I’m really good at starting lots of things, but I exhaust my mental and creative energies before I finish all some one of them. I just like to believe that I’m really good at multi-doing, which is a bit different than multitasking. And really, my brain has gotten me this far, so I can’t complain.

Anyways, just know that if you actually read what I’m putting out here (and I do PLAN on putting out), you will have to follow my crazy stream of consciousness writing. Also, grammar and punctuation police….I got my hands up….please don’t shoot.

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Its August 1, and for many of my friends and colleagues (are they still colleagues?), its back to school month. For the past 13 years, it was my back to school month too. But not this year. For a variety of reasons, I will not have a full time teaching position in the field of public education this year….and possibly not forever more.

From a 9 to 5 job perspective, lets be honest. I’m unemployed.

I have a self employed business in mind….some believe in it…some don’t…but if you aint got no haters you aint poppin playa…(do I have to footnote lyrics? What does MLA say about this).…and this dreamland fantasy business plan of mine has me working mainly on the weekends with limited weekday hours. So if I pull that off, then what happens Monday to Friday while the rest of the world works? Honestly, I don’t know. But that’s what we’re here to find out. My desire is to read all the books I’ve always said I would, write (like on this blog and stuff), and reflect, both on 13 years in the field of public education and on thirty effing six(!!) years of life. And play with my dog.

Will I lose my identity? Will I gain a new one? Is the identity of an individual static, or dynamic? How do I impact lives now that I am out of the classroom? Did I ever once have an impact? Did it matter? How many licks does it take to get the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Will I beat Candy Crush? Where is Hoffa buried? Can I make my mom laugh at one of my jokes just once? Am I really a writer? Am I alive? Am I dead? Is teaching still my gift, once I stop teaching? Is there a one for me? Can I ever finish a marathon? Half marathon again? More 5ks? Maybe just a few sprints? Are there any more soccer goals left in these legs (or head)? Is there a book inside me? How introverted can I become? Do grades matter? Can I country dance beyond the basic two step? Do all lives matter? Do hashtags matter? Am I creative? Can I successfully coach? Does every question have an answer? Does every question have to be answered? Can I write an essay in pencil? Do any rappers write their own bars anymore? Can Twitter be of use to me? Does the Internet care who I am? Do you care who I am? Do I care who I am? Do I care who you are? Whose shoulders will I stand on? Who will stand on mine? Is there still more math for me to learn? Can I change the world?

I can’t promise any of those will get answered. I can’t promise I will share all the answers I find. And I definitely won’t plan for anything…me and planner never really been mentioned together ever. But I will keep questioning, keep seeking, and hopefully, keep posting here.

********

With an ode to the Real World and a hat tip to Bunim and Murray…

This will be the true story….of a man….picked to live in the 21st century….employing himself and documenting the journey….to find out what happens…when life stops being obligatory… and starts getting real

Truly, there’s only one thing I want. I WANT TO LIVE.

********

…..guess its time for the party to start

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